Dear Baba,

I conceive of my core Self as like a breathing muscle, like a beautiful pulsating orb w/ layers and layers of permeable muscle.  And my core Self is both the space inside and the breathing and pulsating of the muscle and all that comes into and out of the orb, and the light that emanates from it all is integrated Self; none of it is static, but it's sure.  And I think of that orb as my soul and the Life-Giving-Energy as the eternal Holy-Spirit, and my Self (my "I Am") is the Self that is conceived by God w/ the Holy-Spirit mating w/ my soul.  Just like Mary said yes to the Holy Spirit and conceived Jesus, when I let the Holy-Spirit live in me, my Self is born!

While I recognize I am biased as a westernized Christian, and while I am completely open to be being formed by the Catholic community, I am "also" very open to other paradigms.  I have great confidence in God!  I have great confidence in Truth!  I have great confidence in Love!  And I have great confidence in my Self!  BTW, I put "also" in quotation marks because I believe it's the orthodoxy of my Christian faith that helps me be open to the biggest picture, it's the universality of my Catholic faith that helps me be open to finding at least a kernel of truth in everyone.

Back to my orb!:  I don't believe God is male or female, but both male-ness and female-ness reflect aspects of God's God-ness!  Christian Scriptures recognize being male or female is not the end-all.  (Galatians 3:28 and Colossians 3:11 is similar.)  I conceive of myself as both female and male, although predominantly or most-manifestly female, but also more than what either of those aspects could ever convey.  I use the word Self to talk about my entire interior Being, and I use the word Person to convey my entire Being (interior+exterior, all that I am, have been and ever will be).  The image of the pulsating orb is for me a lovely portrait of who I am right now which also contains all I have been and is open to who I will become.  I like the symbol of a pulsating orb because it's describable (knowable) yet conveying something that breathes, grows, processes its context and is in process (not entirely definable).  I also like the image of this orb because in my mind's eye S/he is Beautiful and Playful!  (LOL!  Am I the epitome of the Youngest-Child, or what???)

~Lucy

Dear Lucy,

That is quite the picture for your Self!

How would you describe who I am to you?

~Baba